Woman’s secret $400-an-hour job
Mistress Marita makes more from her work as a dominatrix then in her day job in finance.
The 22-year-old charges $400-an-hour for clients to see her on nights and weekends and even more for an overnight kidnapping experience.
She has a Bachelor of Finance and is studying for her masters - and can't see herself giving up either job yet. She loves the fast pace of finance and using numbers to solve problems, while working as a dominatrix is "fun" and helps her forget about a bad day.
The Brisbane woman comes from a conservative Catholic family who aren't aware of her dominatrix work, which she performs in a dungeon she hires out in a secret location.
"There are so many different activities under the BDSM umbrella. Some clients like corporal punishment, so you use implements like a cane or a whip, which is your stereotypical BDSM. It's how you imagine it where you use implements to cause physical pain," she told news.com.au.
"There are also sessions where I do pet play, where that's the client being a pet dog. That is so much fun, I put a little leash on them, run them around and throw balls.
"Another session I might be doing is feminisation - that's when there is a lot of diversity. Say one of my clients is a male tradie who has a very male role in his everyday life but likes to dress up in feminine clothes and be feminine during our sessions and explore that side of himself."
Sex is off the table for dominatrix
But Mistress Marita wants to make one thing clear - she does not have sex with clients. In fact they need her permission if they want to touch her.
"I like foot worship so they can ask for permission to worship my feet or one of my clients gives me massages after my session as that is what he likes to do," she said.
"I hug them before and after every session but they won't see me unclothed and the submissive men, and generally they are men - I haven't seen a female yet - they are inclined to ask before they do anything. They are not very domineering or aggressive."
Mistress Marita has been learning her craft from an experienced dominatrix and also has "a guinea pig slave where you practise things on him" such as a new toy and "he's like your play thing", she said.
"As a late teenager, I remember when I was 17, I was hearing about dungeons and I thought that was so cool, people make a living doing that, it's crazy," she said. "I also watched a documentary about dominatrixes and that really interested me as well seeing the psychology of it and the everyday life of the job."
One thing that is often associated with BDSM is the use of a safe word to ensure a session doesn't go to far, which Mistress Marita confirmed is essential. She admits she likes to "challenge people" though and has been told she is "very tough".
"Even though they are a slave, they can be stubborn, so you have to push them," she said.
Physical punishment is one of her specialities and she said the use of implements isn't the only way to go about it.
"You can use your hands and you can do a lot of spanking - that's very popular. I can do nipple torture with my fingers and that can hurt really badly. You can do a lot of harm with your hands, so it can be worse then anything with an implement," she said.
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Foot fetishes popular with many clients
Foot fetishes are also very common, even among people who "identify as vanilla", she said. Generally her clients want to kiss and lick her feet or feel them on their face or body. Some even like her feet to have a particular smell, including one man who wants to see her after she's done a sweaty gym session. Shoes are also part of the fetish, whether it's heels, feminine footwear or leather numbers.
"Someone asked me once to have dirty feet, so I walked into mud and I ended up having heaps of mud on my feet and he ended up eating all the mud, which was a bit random and cool, but he was really nice," she said.
But there is one thing she doesn't do much of as she "doesn't plan on going to jail" and that's breath play.
"I think there is a lot of people in the industry they make money doing breath play but I disagree with people letting others get knocked out," she said. "I don't take risks like that. I think it's a bit stupid and irresponsible. We have to say no to clients that want to do things that are unsafe. We have to choose what is safe for the client and educate them on what's safe."
Mistress Marita describes herself as a "girly" dominatrix, so rather than the typical black latex, she often likes to wear bright dress, including the colour pink.
While clients generally book in for a two-hour session on average, some also opt for overnight.
"They want to be locked up overnight, which is really fun," she said. "It varies a lot and you plan it. One example is one guy wanted to be kidnapped and tied up all night and have corporal punishment all night and for me just to scare the sh*t out of him."
Clients come from all walks of life
From tradies to business owners to government workers, there's a huge range of people who come to see her. Many of them are married or in a relationship and their partner is unaware of their visits to a dominatrix, with those in the older age bracket in particular keen to keep it a secret due to the "stigma" they feel is attached to it, she said.
"A lot of them have loved these ideas since they were a child. For most people you don't one day wake up and say 'I want this to happen' - most people, it's been happening for a long time," she said.
"One of my clients likes feet and he first remembered seeing his teacher's feet when he was in year one and staring at them, so it's a common thing for people to discover it at a very young age."
The finance worker said she has a close relationship with her family and hates lying to them but she would never reveal her dominatrix work.
"I just don't have a modern family. This would freak them out," she said.
Dating is also "really tough", she said, because she has found men are either obsessed with the work and want to talk about it all the time or don't trust her when she tells them nothing sexual is happening with her clients.
But she is surprised how much joy she gets from working as a dominatrix.
"I was surprised about how much of an escape it was from real life," she said. "If I had a bad day and have a session, I forget about it, and the friendships I've made with slaves, you get to know them really well and develop a friendship."
Netflix show brings BDSM into the mainstream
The industry has recently been explored in a Netflix show called Bonding, which received heavy criticism from dominatrixes, but Mistress Marita said despite obvious inaccuracies she liked how it brought it into the mainstream.
"It showed people in BDSM have friends, kids, they might go to church, yet they do this and they are not bad people and they are not trying to do bad things. This is the world we are in and we can help a lot of people as we are the only person who know about their secret," she said.
"I like in the show that she wasn't an escort and it showed the traditional manner of being a dominatrix in how clients don't touch you, because that's a big misconception … I think it's a fun show and the way some of the slaves are is so spot on."
For those with an interest in BDSM, she insists they should try it with a partner or a dominatrix.
"You can do quite mild stuff. It doesn't have to be extreme. Some people don't want me to put them in pain - they just want sensation stuff," she said.
"It can be a lot of fun and you learn by doing it, but you can't learn it from porn or things like that. Porn is often very extreme, violent and unrealistic. I have clients who watch porn and want me to do it, and I have to tell them it isn't going to work, this is going to kill you."
Originally published as Woman's secret $400-an-hour job