Odd thing I found in the women’s toilet
WHEN was the last time you heard someone had contracted a disease from sitting on a public toilet seat?
You haven't. That's because it's not a thing.
So you can imagine my shock when I discovered not one woman in the line for the toilet on the weekend was actually sitting down. I repeat, not one. This is not a drill.
I quickly surveyed the rest of my friends after I got talking to one of them about the fact she didn't sit.
How had I never known this about my bestie, I wondered, as I then became impressed with her squat staying power after only recently having her first child.
Turns out all my friends have spent years squatting. Years!
I don't care how good your thigh and glute muscles are, that's some incredible commitment. Especially if it's a long stream.
Then it dawned on me that these women are the ones responsible for why when I go to sit there is spray all over the place. Sometimes I've even looked at the floor and thought, ladies, how is it you've splashed more than a toddler toilet training or any ex-boyfriend I've had who clearly didn't know how to aim.
So as a favour to all the women out there who do this, here I present you with the facts: You're being loo-dicrous.
OK, that's not a real fact. I just wanted to use that pun.
Based on proper scientific evidence, I present …
Fact: You're more likely to be struck by lightning than catch a sexually transmitted infection from a public toilet seat.
Fact: A toilet seat is said to be one of the cleanest things you'll come across in terms of microorganisms, and is even one of the cleanest items in the home.
Usually there is about 200 times more faecal bacteria on the average cutting board than on a toilet seat. GROSS.
I could rest my case there. But no, I'm still going. Sit tight ladies - clearly you are anyway.
Fact: You can't catch a urine infection by using a public toilet, HOWEVER, your behaviour in the public bathroom COULD.
All that squatting and precarious hovering to avoid touching the toilet seat, particularly if you're in a rush, is actually what can give you a urine infection.
And by not emptying your bladder completely you could be exposing yourself to potentially harmful bacteria.
This can then increase your chances of getting a urinary tract infection, like cystitis.
As a sufferer of this painful and annoying problem I can attest to the fact this is not something you want.
Convinced yet? I mean, at the end of the day you're only keeping the seat cleaner for me so I don't know why I'm worried really.
I just won't want the rest of the female population to have better "Toblerone tunnels" than me. Yep, that's also a thing.
And I haven't even delved into the nightmare that navigating a number two in a public toilet would be if you had to squat.
Or the sheer annoyance having to squat during regular trips to the public toilet in an average working day. Another of my friends puts toilet paper down on the seat first. Ain't nobody got time for that.
I will point out this was during a trip to the Gold Coast (happy 30th Zoe!). I'm yet to do a Sydney toilet survey.
Despite what people say, they do make them classy on the GC though (if I do say so myself).
That or Gold Coast girls are just more terrified of what they might catch in those traps on the Glitter Strip.
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