Opinion

What I’ll be buying Tony this Christmas

MOOD SWING: Tony Abbott needs to swap blue for yellow ties.
MOOD SWING: Tony Abbott needs to swap blue for yellow ties. AAP

I FEEL it's only fitting in this Christmas week to divulge my choice of gifts to people we see a lot of.

Times have been tough this year, given the parlous state of the newspaper industry, so like many people I've had to follow Joe Hockey's lead and tighten my financial belt.

I think Rupert Murdoch will appreciate the little trinket I've gift-wrapped, the remaining 30% of Australian newspaper companies that he doesn't own - so he can complete the set.

Much like my mate Clive Palmer. A bit too big for his boots these days, and his trousers, and his shirts ... Well just about everything really.

They'll soon have to start reinforcing the golf buggies at the Coolum Palmer Resort if he continues to dine so frequently at all the restaurants he owns.

That's why he has such a large vintage car collection, you know; they made cars' suspension much stronger in days gone by.

Anyhow, a present for Clive presented somewhat of a challenge. But I hit on a wonderful solution - Clive has such a penchant for all things historic, like cars, dinosaurs, the Titanic.

I've decided to put something on lay-by for him that I think he'll adore - a time machine.

Prime Minister Tony Abbott agreed to chip in a few dollars towards it - said he'd love to see Clive a million light years away from the parliament. Isn't that nice ...

For Tony himself, well his gift took some thinking about.

He's been so stressed lately, what with worrying about the $50 billion budget deficit and his bit of trouble with his neighbour up north.

I settled on a tie for Tony. A yellow one. According to my psychologist, yellow means optimistic and cheerful.

Tony wears those blue ties so often, they're starting to affect his mood. And for his estranged presidential friend over the Timor Sea, Mr Bambang, I'm buying him and his wife a set of walkie-talkies.

The salesman assures me they can't be bugged, even by ASIO.

Alan Joyce, the Qantas boss, is not exactly flavour of the month, but it's very often tough at the top.

Poor boy has had to take a pay cut, just before Christmas.

He'll be left with a measly $2 million a year. With his airline going down the gurgler, I bought him something really useful - a rail pass.

Lastly but not leastly, on my gift list, I'm keen to give something to all our loyal QT readers.

Against all the odds, the introduction of a myriad news channels, QT readers have been loyal to the printed word.

That stoicism deserves a just reward. With tongue firmly in cheek, I wish you all a splendid Christmas and New Year.

Topics:  editors picks opinion vonnie's view yvonne gardiner



How to survive a bushfire in your car

IT SOUNDS like a nightmare, but it can happen.

Eight reasons to join the RFS

SPREAD across 93% of Queensland, the Rural Fire Service has about 36,000 volunteers. And you could be one of them.

What if my insurer gives me grief?

CLAIMING your insurance cover after a natural disaster can go one of two ways. It can be a breeze, or like pulling teeth.

It's official, Christmas has started in Ipswich

TIS THE SEASON: Plenty of families got into the holiday spirit at the Christmas Twilight Parade.

PHOTOS: Annual Twilight Parade draws hundreds, more events to come

Serious injury experiences that may help you

Former Ipswich footballer and elite masters athlete Darrin Norwood knows how to overcome challenges.

Ipswich all-rounders recover from knee surgery

Check out these handy recovery tips

Ipswich Knights footballer Adam O'Sullivan receives immediate treatment after suffering a serious knee injury.

Wise advice when dealing with serious injury

Local Partners

FLOOD RISK: Mayors launch plan to protect $260M industry

A COMPREHENSIVE plan to deal with the flood risk to rivers and lakes in the Lockyer Valley has been launched.


It's official, Christmas has started in Ipswich

TIS THE SEASON: Plenty of families got into the holiday spirit at the Christmas Twilight Parade.

PHOTOS: Annual Twilight Parade draws hundreds, more events to come

What's on this weekend

Artist Eric Lennartson is in the process of completing his huge tape sculpture at the Ipswich Art Gallery.

Things to do in Ipswich

Five things to do this weekend

Renee Schulz, Brad Baxter, Elizabeth Mills and Nathan Schulz prepare for the Marburg Church of Christ Christmas Carols.
Photo: Rob Williams / The Queensland Times

Your guide to what's on in Ipswich

Jennifer Lawrence gives keys to new partner

Oscar winner Jennifer Lawrence

Oscar winner settling down with new partner

Rogue One star proud to lead new Star Wars film

Felicity Jones leads the new Star Wars film

Star Wars lead proud to be in front in sci-fi

What's on the small screen this week

Ernie Dingo stars in the TV series Going Places with Ernie Dingo.

ERNIE Dingo stars in a new travel series and Seven airs the AACTAs.

Mandy Moore feels like she's 60

Mandy Moore sees herself as a 60-year-old rather than a 32-year-old

Goooodbye Hamish and Andy (from our radios)

Hamish and Andy

The pair have been on air since 2006

David Attenborough on facing his mortality

Sir David Attenborough in a scene from the TV special The Death of the Oceans.

Life without Sir David Attenborough is hard to imagine

Chinese locked out of Australian property market

The rules are different if you're a foreigner

The buyer was from China - the trouble started right there

Morrison signs off on new affordable rental model

Australia's Treasurer Scott Morrison speaks during a press conference after a meeting of the Council of Federal Financial Relations at Parliament House in Canberra, Friday, Dec. 2, 2016.

Scott Morrison signed off on development of a new financing model

New 1200-seat Mormon church to open in Ipswich

COMMUNITY: Barbara MacDonald of Springfield Lakes with her children from left, Jacob, 6, Charlotte, 2, Joseph, 4, Emily, 9, and Lachlan, 8, outside the newly built Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints at Augustine Heights.

One of Australia's largest Mormon churches will open this month

REVEALED: 25 of Ipswich's cheapest houses

8 Trumper St, East Ipswich, Offers above $230,000.

Old and neglected homes in hot demand with renovators

Coast high-flyer's fight back from bankruptcy, $72m debt

Scott Juniper went from millionaire developer to declaring bankruptcy in2012, now he is back on top of his game again with new developments including this one in Coolum.

'Apocalyptic lending storm' causes financial collapse.

Ready to SELL your property?

Post Your Ad Here!