Ups and downs of silly season
CHRISTMAS is a wonderful time of year. The food, the backyard cricket and time with family are some of great times we all look forward to.
Yet it's the build-up to the big day that is the most draining.
With kids now on school holidays, attention turns to not only keeping the little blighters amused, but thinking about what presents to buy, and how you're all going to fit it in.
You know when it's Christmas for several reasons, and some are uniquely Ipswich. How many of these can you relate to?
Like My Christmas Tree!
How many pictures of Christmas trees have been on your social media newsfeed lately?
Why people feel the need to share the fact that they have spent the last three hours battling with kids and pets to put a tree up, while some poor sod spends two of those three hours unravelling the Christmas lights is beyond me, but you go for it. Good on you.
I painted my bathroom door last week. It took me 45 minutes and was just as stressful as putting up a Christmas tree, but you don't see me sharing it with the world. Hint: Nobody cares.
You know it's Christmas when you can wander around any shopping centre to the sound of screaming kids, frustrated parents and Christmas carols on non-stop repeat. My heart goes out to retail staff who not only have endure stressed shoppers, but over the course of six weeks 3,587 repeats of Santa Claus Is Coming to Town.
In some countries that would be considered a form of mental torture, as anyone who has watched The Nanny will understand.
Retail staff are doing a thankless job and working long hours so that YOU can have everything you need for Christmas, so please be nice to them.
It always amazes me that an average seven-year-old can reinstall Windows on my laptop, update apps on my phone and hack my home wi-fi, but they still hasn't worked out that Santa is chatting to kids at every shopping centre in the nation AT THE SAME TIME.
As a kid, I figured out very quickly the truth about Santa, when I got a present from "Father Christmas"...in my mother's handwriting. Either I was a smart kid, or a smart arse. Probably the latter.
Anyway, Christmas was never the same after that.
Maybe my parents lied to me not just about Santa but about other stuff too. OH MY GOD! Maybe I was adopted? Hmmm....I plan to have a long talk with my parents Chaoxiang and Kazuko over the break to find out the truth.
We are spoiled for choice in Ipswich for great waterparks, whether it's the Riverheart Parklands, the Robelle Domain and the Orion Lagoon. Just a few years ago the only option you had for a swim was to brave the muddy banks of the Bremer River or stand under a hose. How times have changed, and it's heart warming to see so many people making use of the free barbecues and facilities at these parks, which let's face it, we all paid for. So get out and enjoy them.
Incredibly, there's just two weeks left to get ready for the big day. Seems like we've hardly started doesn't it?
My favourite part of Christmas day is dessert, as I like nothing better than some plum pud, a couple of mince pies and lots of custard. Normally I get as many mince pies as I like as nobody else in my, or my extended family, likes them. They don't know what they are missing. Weirdos.