Sit down, relax ... and let's go bra shopping!
MARILYN Monroe said give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world - she obviously had no problems finding a bra.
Shoes are the least of our problems, if you can't find a comfy bra you can forget about conquering anything.
According to leading bra companies more than 80% of women are wearing the wrong size bra.
And according to my research, more than 80% of bra companies would like you to buy more of their bras.
But I do find the statistic surprising, considering you can't try a bra on in a shop without having a sales assistant bust into the changing room, eye you up and down, jiggle you around a bit and point out all of your flaws.
But I have found a new way of bra hunting that I think really works for me.
Last weekend I hosted a lingerie party from the comfort of my couch.
Although the term lingerie is probably stretching it a bit, comfortable bra and control underwear party would be a more apt description.
And with the attendees mean age coming in at a substantial 64, my lounge room looked more like a waiting room for a podiatrist than a Victoria's Secret show.
The whole thing was my mum's idea, she had attended one a few months earlier, and just like the quinoa and kale diet she's on had generously decided to share the benefits with me (force me into it).
I'll be the first to admit I was sceptical and used my best disinterested eye rolling and scoffing to fight her signature manipulation, but just like the quinoa and kale diet, my bad attitude was no match for her cunning ways.
The thought of sitting around pawing underwear with my mum and her friends held about as much appeal as sitting around picking lint off a black, woolly jumper you put through the wash with a tissue in your jean pocket.
But, I was wrong. Everything I loathe about bra shopping was gone.
There was no over familiar sales assistant reefing back the curtain when you are nowhere near ready.
I've done some pretty in-depth research (spoken to a few friends) and it seems bra fitters have a real knack at opening change room curtains at the least opportune times.
I think it's a trick to get you off guard so you will say yes to anything.
But it's surprising how quickly the awkward feeling of being virtually naked in front a stranger dissipates after a glass of wine or two.
Feeling guilty about buying ugly 'grandma' bras because they are so much more comfortable and supportive than the pretty, girly ones.
When grandma is sitting right beside you trying on bras it really gives you some perspective.
Feeling guilty about spending too much money.
If you are going to host a bra party, or any home shopping party for that matter, make sure you invite your most impulsive friends.
It's really easy to quell the guilt when you shop in a pack, besides it doesn't even feel like real money when you've spent it from the couch. Now if only Coles and Woolies would get their acts together and start dropping around with a catalogue, a few friends and a bottle of sparkling.