Lifestyle

Older men have no reason to shy away from the dating scene

Stay positive when going out dating.
Stay positive when going out dating. Digital Vision

Q: I am a man in my 40s and recently separated. After being in a relationship for 20 years I'm finding the dating world quite different!

Do you have any advice for me because I'm quite shy and feel socially inept but I'm also very lonely.

I'd love to meet someone special but I have no clue as to how to go about it. Can you give me some tips?

 

A: Dating is about confidence. You've got to play to your strengths.

So above all else, find what makes you feel good about yourself and focus on that.

Stop focussing on your dating obstacles.

You're new to the dating market again so embrace this as an opportunity to reinvent your life and reinvigorate yourself with energy and joy for living.

Knowing you're socially inept is a strength.

Better to be aware of what might impact your dating life than not, but don't let that shatter your confidence.

For every negative thought you have about yourself (I'm inept, I'm shy, I'm lonely etc) tell yourself 10, yes 10, positively fantastic things about yourself that you like, love and respect, and can make you a good partner to someone.

Most people listen to - and believe - their negative voice more than 10 times more often and with far greater intensity than anything remotely great we tell ourselves or others tell us.

You may not be able to turn off your inner critic, but you can certainly give it your best shot to drown it out!

This will help give you some confidence when it comes to dating.

You don't want to take it too far and get cocky, thinking you're the greatest gift to women on the planet, that's certainly not attractive, but if you're happy with yourself and think you're a good person and a good catch, others will see that too … and they'll want to get to know you better.

Be clear about what you want: not everyone who dates is looking for a special, serious relationship.

Make sure that you look for people who are not only compatible with you but also at the same stage in their love life.

Dating isn't just about your heart, you've got to use your head too.

Since you've been off the dating market for so long, chances are that you've not tried internet dating.

You may even still be one of the minority who think internet dating is for "the desperate".

That's not the case these days.

If you're a bit rusty at dating, sharing yourself, getting to know women, flirting and finding out whether someone is a good match for you, then internet dating might just be a great way to get your feet wet.

You can practise talking to women without much commitment and work your way up slowly to meeting someone face to face.

If you're shy, worried about your social interactions, and yes, lonely, internet dating is right there, waiting for you to get started. Be confident and take a risk.

Life is exciting, and you can love and be loved no matter who you are, where you are, or how long it's been since you last had a date.

 

>> To read more lifestyle stories

Topics:  dating editors picks internet lifestyle love relationships



VIDEO: Derelict Ipswich mall now a huge hole in the ground

Update on the Ipswich CBD Mall development construction.

Demolition crews reach half way point of massive destruction job

SCHOOL HOLIDAYS: Here's what's on in Ipswich

School holiday movies. The Lego Ninjago Movie

Ten things to do, to keep the kids entertained

Minister responds to call to dissolve Ipswich council

Ipswich City Council Administration Building and Council Chambers.

Minister addresses calls to sack Ipswich council

Local Partners

Sleep and sex will make you happier than a payrise, study shows

A GOOD night’s sleep and having a good sex life have a far greater impact on our wellbeing than money.

Mum upset after sister steals both her baby names

She has two boys and her sister has used both her children's names for her own kids

"AIBU [Am I Being Unreasonable] to think this is a bit unfair?”

What you need to know before you ditch carbs

Instead of ditching carbs, switch to wholegrain (brown rice, barley, buckwheat, quinoa, spelt or polenta), along with fruits, beans and vegetables.

Not all carbs are the same and understanding the difference is vital

Mum doesn't know she has given birth

Sarah has been in an induced coma since she gave birth on August 28. Source: Gofundme

Her son won't be named until she wakes from her coma

'Much respected' volunteer killed in glider crash

The scene of the air crash that claimed the lives of two people at the Darling Downs Soaring Club on Tuesday morning, including Whitsundays man Norbert Gross (left).

The glider crash claimed the lives of two people.

Dogs on beach - on leash - anywhere?

DOGGED ISSUE: Troy Dare and Sunny are happy with the dog beach access rules the way they are.

Teenager calling for 'ruff' justice

'My children are not a number': Rocky mum turns lives around

CHANGED FUTURES: Bailee Stjernqvist, Penny Martin, Kazzi Doyle and Nathan Baira. Penny has taken in several teenagers who have turned their lives around with her help and support.

These teens have made huge changes to their futures