Moment Elly shuts down ‘desperate’ guy

 

The Bachelorette's Elly is forced to smack down a desperate guy who doesn't take the hint on Thursday night but backtracks the reprimand when she chooses him over a fashion-forward icon wearing a turtleneck.

Honestly, the fashion-forward guy just works and works to serve us fierce lewks right up until the very last second. It's a shame to see him go but fashion-forward people are rarely appreciated in their lifetime. How fierce are his lewks? This fierce:

Your loss, Elly. You could’ve borrowed these sunnies.
Your loss, Elly. You could’ve borrowed these sunnies.

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But back to the desperate guy. It catches us off guard. I mean, would a desperate person really go on a show like this? It just makes no sense.

Anyway, his name is Harry and he won the "country rose" and I'm still certain that's the name of a Faith Hill CD. If it's not, maybe she can record a new CD and call it that.

The rose means Harry gets a double date with the girls and he chooses Shannon to tag along as they go for a helicopter ride over Wollongong (settle down guys, don't be jealous).

Shannon spends the entire time trying to kiss Becky - awkwardly flirting and leaning in close to her face as she stares at him, wide-eyed and refusing to also lean in. They land in a field and hang out around a bonfire.

The kissing attempts continue and then Elly decides to give her sister some alone time. A look of terror washes over Becky's face and she considers hurling her body into the bonfire.

It’s really not Becky’s week.
It’s really not Becky’s week.

But it seems Becky's feeling flat after being rejected by that cruise ship dancer last night and so decides to make out with Shannon.

Where did Harry and Elly go? They're in a paddock somewhere - and this is where the desperation is kindled. Elly finds out that Harry's 35 - ten years older than her - and has a little boy.

In an attempt to let him down easy, she serves him up a Michelin starred crap sandwich: compliment + crap + crap + compliment.

"I really enjoy being in your company and you've got such a beautiful vibe," she begins. "I'm just not too sure whether we're gonna line up. I don't know whether you're a bit ahead of me. But I don't want you to think I'm closed off to you!"

The desperation begins to fester inside Harry and it only grows over the next 24 hours as more guys get time with the girls on the group date. Of course it's the boring photo shoot date which we hate because nothing ever really happens.

This is all you need to know:

1. Jake serves up high fashion.

Don’t act like you didn’t wanna see this screenshot again.
Don’t act like you didn’t wanna see this screenshot again.

2. Hot Joe is still hot even when he's dressed like a jellyfish.

I’d let him sting me.
I’d let him sting me.

3. This guy.

Footage from my biopic.
Footage from my biopic.

At the cocktail party, Harry's nervous. His desperation has flourished and it's now seeping from his pores.

"I need an opportunity to showcase Harry," he tells himself in a pep talk.

It's a terrible idea. This will only lead to humiliation. We encourage it.

He spots Elly in deep conversation with another guy in a private corner of the backyard. Of course he marches right over - radiating confidence - and attempts to interrupt the chat.

"I'd love a chat with Elly. Can we have a chat? Can we wrap it up please?" he smiles.

His new-found confidence is promptly destroyed when Elly smacks him down in front of everyone.

"Harry, look, I'll come out soon, OK?" she sighs, exasperated.

"Oh … OK," he slinks off, defeated.

Hot Joe is watching on from the sidelines and his reaction represents all of Australia.

Even when Hot Joe is shocked, Hot Joe is still hot.
Even when Hot Joe is shocked, Hot Joe is still hot.

Harry spots Becky having her own intimate moment with Shannon in a different corner of the backyard. And because he has now reached peak desperation, he decides to march over, interrupt, and campaign for Becky to tell her sister to give him a rose.

"Harry comes and parks himself in the middle of Shannon and I and I'm thinking, 'What are you doing'?" Becky groans to us.

But this is what desperation does to a person. All rationality and basic social decency goes out the window and you stop at nothing to get what you want.

"I just wanted to come over here and say I really don't think my life experience is an issue with Elly. So, I'd like your support on that, if possible," he huffs.

As a general rule of thumb in the dating world: if you have to campaign for your crush's siblings to convince them that they should date you, it's probably not going to work.

"Look, I think you're a nice guy, Harry. But I guess it's over to Elly. It's up to her if she feels a connection and if you guys are right for each other," she grimaces.

Harry persists. Yeah, I'd appreciate the chat because I understand you wanna look after your sister."

The psycho clinger music begins to play as Harry staggers off through the backyard looking like a maniac. Then he stares down the camera at us and we're sure he has heard us talking about him.

We’ll give you Elly! Just don’t hurt us!
We’ll give you Elly! Just don’t hurt us!

Of course Elly should get rid of him. And she will. Just not tonight. Why? Because Elly doesn't understand high fashion.

She tosses fashion-forward Jake aside like he's an old pair of Kmart jeans when really he's vintage Balenciaga. She isn't even aware of what she had.

Jake is positively miffed. He wore his good turtleneck and everything. Refusing to make eye contact with Elly, he whips his head to the side, pouts and flutters his tinted eyelashes.

It's Elly's loss. She could've doubled her wardrobe.

Twitter, Facebook: @hellojamesweir

Fierce lewks.
Fierce lewks.

 

 

Originally published as Moment Elly shuts down 'desperate' guy



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