Mega tantrum after Big Bro prize slashed

 

More rules are invented on Wednesday night's Big Brother as one evicted housemate re-enters the game and another steals a chunk of the $250,000 prize money - leaving two of the frontrunners so furious they storm out of a ritzy swaargh-ez.

What's a swaargh-ez? Clearly you've never had the joy of attending one. A "swaargh-ez" is what the Big Brother housemates call a "soirée" and it's exactly the same but with more platters of kabana and cheese.

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Evicted housemates Sophie and Kieran have been secretly residing in the white room for about a day now. Sophie's handling it really well.

Cute pic of me at the office.
Cute pic of me at the office.

"I think I'm starting to forget who I am," she whispers to herself.

It's all very One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest. Kruges dazzles in the role of Nurse Ratched.

"I want get back in there and take back what was so rightfully earned by me," Sophie mumbles as she picks herself up off the floor and lumbers around in a circle.

Big Brother has promised one of them will leave the white room and re-enter the house. Sophie has made it her mission to seek revenge on Mat and Dan for stabbing her in the back. She probably also wants to see her boyfriend Chad, but - like me in all my relationships - she's prioritising revenge.

"I wanna prove that you don't mess with Sophie Budack," she tells herself. "I would literally take out anyone to get there. For them to step all over me like they did, it's just disgraceful. People need to pay for what they did to me."

She has completely lost it. At one point her eyes start to twitch and, behind the scenes, Kruges is considering sending in a straitjacket.

She then picks up a knife and starts carving crude etchings into the wall. We zoom in and find two stick figure men have been engraved. Mat and Dan. She's probably going to do voodoo on them.

These two little men are dwarfed by an ominous inscription: "REVENGE IS A BITCH!"

They found something similar on the wall of Jesus’s tomb.
They found something similar on the wall of Jesus’s tomb.

We're loving the promise of this creepy story arc so quickly check in on Mat and Dan to make sure they're not suspecting any of the upcoming danger.

Because there's no elimination tonight, Big Brother decides to treat the housemates and throw a soirée. Out of everyone, Sarah is the most thrilled.

"Maybe at tonight's swaargh-ez they should put on a video of best moments!" she says.

The swaargh-ez goes off with a bang. Honestly, it's layer upon layer of opulence. Bottomless boxes of Jatz. Bega cheese cubes. Passion Pop. It's like we're watching a scene out of Baz Luhrmann's The Great Gatsby.

Just stunning.
Just stunning.

"Pretty good swaargh-ez, don't you reckon, Sarah?" Mat asks.

"This is the best food I've ever eaten in my life. Like, the most high quality," she says, dipping a Jatz cracker into a tub of Maggie Beer's quince paste.

Achieving the perfect swaargh-ez really comes down to the guest combination. They all need to supply the crackling rat-a-tat-tat dialogue you might find in a Capote novel.

"What's your dream car?" Mat mumbles.

Sarah takes a moment and really considers the question.

"Probably a Toyota Corolla," she nods before another option dawns on her. "Or a Hyundai i30! Actually, my dream car is just anything with a sunroof."

Honestly, based on this one conversation, Sarah should just be crowned winner of Big Brother right now. Give her the damn $250,000 so she can buy her Corolla!

Suddenly, the swaargh-ez is interrupted when the big screen in the living room switches on and CCTV from inside the white room begins to play. The housemates are shocked at the sight of Kieran and Sophie - but they're even more concerned about the crude voodoo etchings on the walls.

Kruges launches a Zoom call into the white room.

"On the screen before you, an amount of money will gradually increase over one minute," she tells Sophie and Kieran. "At any point during this minute, either of you can press your red button, freezing the total. Whoever presses the button will be allowed to keep the money. But must leave the Big Brother house for good. Whoever doesn't press there button will receive a second chance and return to the Big Brother house."

Shockwaves vibrate through the house. And then, just to cause trouble, Kruges slips in another tiny piece of info.

"Oh and one more thing - the money you'll be tempted with will be taken out of the overall prize money," she beams, trying not to laugh at the prospect of the prize money being suddenly slashed like a Coles Red Spot Special.

This wily dame.
This wily dame.

 

The dollar amount on the TV screen begins to skyrocket with each second. Sophie looks at the rising figure and then looks at the voodoo carvings on the wall.

"REVENGE IS A BITCH!" coos the proverb carved into the plaster.

"I'm not taking the money," she mumbles to Kieran as she takes her hand off the buzzer.

Kieran presses the red button just before time runs out. The money is his - $15,344.

Sophie should be ecstatic. She's going back inside the house and has another chance at winning the now-slashed prize money. But she's too bitter to be happy. Her focus is on exacting revenge.

In the living room, Mat and Dan stand lifeless like the stick figures carved into the wall.

As Sophie stumbles back into the home she was evicted from, Dan refuses to look her in the eye and threatens to walk out of the competition.

"I'll walk, I've had enough," he strops off into the diary room to pick a fight with Big Brother. "Pull me out of the house. Five minutes ago, I had a one in four chance, now it's one in five … what's the deal? You've blindsided me."

Mat's not far behind him.

"I'm done," he rips his microphone off before barging into the diary room to demand answers.

"Big Brother, what the hell was that mate?" he huffs. "How many times have you got to beat people before they're done and gone?"

You don’t just storm out of a swargh-ez, Mathew – show some class.
You don’t just storm out of a swargh-ez, Mathew – show some class.

Outside, Sophie remains cold.

"I'm channelling every single queen there is right now," she says. "I'm like the ice queen. I'm queen Khaleesi. I'm the queen of Sheba."

That might be true, Sophia. But there's one queen you are not. And that's Queen Ange-a-licious.

Twitter, Facebook, Instagram: @hellojamesweir

Originally published as Mega tantrum after Big Bro prize slashed



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