Mark Holden and DWTS: Train wreck TV
I CAN'T believe Mark Holden's been booted off Dancing with the Stars.
Where are we going to get our fix of train wreck reality television next week?
You know, the shows you just love to watch to see what someone will do next.
When the former seventies pop star rubbed himself up against host Daniel MacPherson snarling "Do you like balloons Danny? I could get you a balloon Danny", it was creepy.
But as far as reality TV goes, it was great television.
People talked about it. They tweeted about it and no doubt many watched again last night to see what Holden would do next.
As expected, Holden's follow-up performance was nowhere as controversial.
He was gagged and not just physically.
Even the producers probably realised he went way too far last week.
Holden attempted to look like Russian leader Vladimir Putin by wearing a red cape, a half bald wig and no shirt as he danced to AC/DC's Highway To Hell.
Many viewers probably wanted to go to hell at that point.
Holden certainly took them there.
His dancing was pedestrian. It was only saved by that of his dancing teacher Jessica Prince who should be given a sainthood for tolerance.
The judges and viewers were spared Holden's wacky remarks this week as his mouth was taped shut by Prince.
He still managed to convey the queer, thumping the judges' desk and holding a weird stare before he had to be pulled away by MacPherson.
Straight after being evicted on Tuesday, Holden tweeted along with a picture of a clown: "Voted off or booted out? You decide. At least now I can finally relax."
It will be interesting to see which weirdo the TV gods roll out next.
IF YOU MISSED IT LAST WEEK...