Caroline Hutchinson
Caroline Hutchinson

Countdown to Judgement Day

IS IT just me or does everyone need to get busy?

In the United States a high profile Christian radio network has officially calculated the date of the apocalypse and I’ve got some very bad news. It’s tomorrow.

If you’ve been to the United States lately, this probably comes as no surprise. The Christian Network Family Radio has been broadcasting a countdown to Judgment Day for months. Supporters have sold their homes and cashed their superannuation to help pay for television and print advertising spreading the word. Around the world they’ve erected more than three thousand billboards, including one in Redcliffe.

The date was calculated by the network’s president, 89-year-old (it’s all right for him, he’s had a fair innings) Harold Camping who cites two Bible passages. Apparently the Book of Peter implies that the end of the world will occur 7000 years from the date of the great flood. And the Book of Genesis says the flood occurred on the “17th day of the second month”. According to the Jewish calendar, May 21 2011, is the corresponding date.

Mr Camping claims that starting in New Zealand tomorrow at 6pm local time and sweeping their way across the world, “great earthquakes will shake the world apart, littering the ground with many dead bodies.”

The good news is, if you’re Mr Camping’s brand of Christian, you’ll be taken up in the rapture tomorrow, whisked away to the sweet hereafter. I’m not entirely sure of the criteria, but apparently about 3% of the current global population will be taken up.

The bad news is, if you’re a non-believer it’s nothing but unspeakable suffering for you next week, unfortunately. And I’m pretty sure that will continue in extreme weather events for 153 days of “death and horror” until God finally has enough and takes us all out some time in October.

It’s important to note that Mr. Camping first predicted the world’s end in 1994. He says he was wrong due to a mathematical miscalculation.

To be honest, I kind of want a foot in both camps. I’m reasonably sure the world isn’t going to end this weekend, but the problem is I’ll be in Melbourne tomorrow and I don’t really want to be away from my kids for the apocalypse, so if it has to happen I’m secretly hoping we all get a guernsey in the rapture. In keeping with that thought, I’ll save my large-scale mocking until Sunday, and probably won’t buy any un-ripe avocadoes or hassle John to mow the lawn.

On the other hand, if the four horsemen do happen to arrive, suck on that American Express, see you in the afterlife!

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