Lifestyle

How to keep your relationship afloat

It can take work to keep your love alive.
It can take work to keep your love alive. boggy22

YOUR relationship is sailing along well, then it hits an obstacle and springs a few leaks, then a few more. You realise it is starting to sink. The great bond you shared, the closeness you felt is fading or isn't there. The iceberg of our busy lives has struck our relationship and it is about to go under, leaving us a stark choice: abandon it, or make urgent repairs to keep it afloat.

Better still, revitalise it and make it better than it was before. Many a relationship can be salvaged, some that even seem lost. The key is to re-establish the closeness. Here are six ways you can regenerate damaged relationships to give them resilience, depth, strength, and substance. Then they can thrive despite life's hits.

Make time

It is hard to feel close to someone if we don't feel valued or important to them. We feel most valued when others make time for us and make us the priority. We have to work to pay the bills; but is the larger mortgage for the bigger house in the better street really more important than a close friendship with our partner? Make regular time to be alone together. Make your time together precious and a top priority even and especially if you are parents.

Talk and listen

We can't feel close to someone we don't talk and listen to. This works best face-to-face; not using texting, not on the phone, and not by emails, though these can get us by in short bursts. We feel closest by being physically next to each other so we can read each other's body language; how we move, smile, frown, or react. We all like others to hear and appreciate our story.

Share commonality

If we focus on differences we make the other person a potential threat. Look to see what we have in common and we make each other friends. The more we share what we have in common, the closer the relationship. This doesn't mean we have to like all the same things, just focus on sharing what we both like and agree on. If you know your partner also likes long walks, chocolate cake, the movie, the funny show on TV, agree on it.

Make fun time

We want to be with the person who we feel good being around. Having fun together feels great and makes us want to be around each other and be closer. Don't neglect this opportunity to bond. Every week set aside time to do something fun together. It could be games in the bedroom or splashing each other on the beach. Make sure it happens - ensure it's a promise you keep.

Share secrets and build trust

Sharing secrets means you are working as a team to keep something between you that no one else will ever know. How important, trusted, and special must we be if someone is prepared to share their most important secrets? The deeper the secret and the more secrets you share, the closer you can become.

Sharing secrets can make us feel vulnerable and place our heart in someone else's hands. If they validate this trust by never betraying it then we can share 'anything' with each other and further increase our close bond.

Respect, notice and support

We are closest with people who neither try to dominate us nor act like our inferior; those we respect. We can notice someone with a touch, or just say "Hi” if they are in the room. Never give the silent treatment or ignore them - ever. We seek to be with those who support our dreams and ambitions.



RECALL: The supermarket glasses that break in your hands

A RANGE of drinking glasses sold across Australia are being recalled amid fears they may break "during normal use" and cut the hands of whoever is holding it.

They were pulled from shelves on July 10.

Paul Pisasale: Who was the woman at Brisbane watch-house?

Dr Patricia Petersen dressed up for Australia Day

Who was the woman who met Pisasale outside the Brisbane watch-house

Ipswich anti-corruption campaigner assaulted

Jim Dodrill talks about dumps in the division 3 area.

Jim Dodrill and his elderly father were allegedly assaulted

Local Partners

‘One of the most ludicrous films ever made’

THE fifth Transformers film has broken two records: Worst opening weekend at the US box office and most panned film in the franchise so far.

Transformers movie bombs to horror opening week

Optimus Prime in a scene from, "Transformers: The Last Knight."

Transformers 5 had the worst opening in the franchise’s history

How 9/11 helped make Waleed Aly a household name

Waleed Aly and Susan Carland at the 2016 Logie Awards

“It feels like there was a script written for me,” he said.

Pixar weighs in on viral Toy Story theory

Woody and Buzz Lightyear from Toy Story.

DID Andy’s dad tragically die just before the story took place?

VIRAL VIDEO: Campaign to bring beloved nanny to Maryborough

** ADVANCE FOR MONDAY, OCT. 16 **FILE**This promotional photo provided by Disney Home Entertainment shows actors Julie Andrews as Mary Poppins and Dick Van Dyke as Bert in a scene from the 40th anniversary edition of the Disney DVD. P. L. Travers, author of the "Mary Poppins" books, approved of Andrews as Poppins but considered Van Dyke "all wrong" and objected to mixing animated characters with live actors. (AP Photo/Disney Home Entertainment)

Can we get Dame Julie Andrews to come to our festival?

King Judah through to The Voice grand final

Judah Kelly is through to the grand final of The Voice.

NOT even illness could stop the Laidley singer from performing.

Ocean views up for sale at Bargara Rise

LAND RELEASE: Rob Sergiacomi on site at the Bargara Rise development off Watsons Road Bargara.

More ocean-view land comes on the market at Bargara

Blueberries help property market boom

RURAL MARKET: Elders sale agent Terry Deefholts, Norman Arkan and rural sales agent Angus McDonald.

Growth in the rural property market

Gateway to $3 billion, 4800 home new Coast city opens

The start of Peter Crosby Way at Sippy Downs, the northern access into the Harmony master-planned community at Palmview.

Palmview's $3b master-planned community of Harmony

Millionaire Nathan Birch to offload $55M in property

Nathan Birch wants to focus more on developing properties.

Sydney property investor has announced he is selling up

Sales cool down after frantic first quarter

Ipswich real estate continues to attract interest from southern investors.

Ipswich agent says savvy investors can still make gains

Ready to SELL your property?

Post Your Ad Here!