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Bad language just the icing on the cake

Modern Mum by QT columnist Kat van Wyk
Modern Mum by QT columnist Kat van Wyk Contributed

MY SON turned six this week.

I usually go overboard on birthdays, with everything from fancy handmade invitations and decorations, to a birthday cake masterpiece that takes me a whole day to create.

Then there is the stress of cleaning the house beforehand, only to have a bigger mess to clean up at the end.

This year I decided to throw him one of those "I don't have to do anything but pay the bill at the end" kind of parties.

So off we went to the local skating rink with his cousins and school friends. I even gave up on my cake making duties and had someone else make the cake.

Driving very carefully, the cake balanced on the front seat as we made our way to the party.

We were almost there when a car flew through a red light in front of us, forcing me to slam on the brakes,

The cake....was okay. I, on the other hand, managed to break the one rule that as a parent I hold the most vital. I am referring of course to the no swearing in front of my children rule.

Startled after my near miss and expecting the cake to fly smack bang into the dashboard, I let out the biggest F'Bomb their tiny ears have ever heard.

I was promptly chastised by both of them. They even dobbed me in to grandma when we reached the party. Grandma simply laughed at me because she knows how strict I can be when it comes to children and foul language.

Being that we were at a birthday party, my mum decided to remind me of my darling daughter's third birthday.

That was the day my "Princess" dropped her first F'Bomb.

Surrounded by family and friends, she was happily playing in the back yard with her new doll and bike. The doll fell off the bike and she announced in perfect context "Oh no, dolly fell off the [insert F Bomb here] bike!" to the entire party.

While dolly fell off her bike, I almost fell off my chair!

Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at me. Not because they were disgusted by what they had heard, oh no.

They know what an uptight mummy I can be and were desperate to see my response.

At the time I had never been more horrified. I went on a crazy headhunt to find the person responsible, while my family and friends giggled at my overreaction.

The culprit was eventually found and a "stern taking to" was given.

Much like the one I received from my children in the car earlier this week.

I really am a hypocrite though.

I'm no saint when it comes to foul language, nor have I ever been.

In fact I've been known to swear like a trooper around appropriate company. I know it doesn't sound lady like, but if a swear word is required to get my point across, then one is justifiably used.

Just not in front of children.

Rest assured, no further swear words were used for the duration of the party and all tiny ears were safe in my presence.

This latest party turned out to be a great success, even with my little slip-up. Oh and the cake I saved from meeting with an ill-fated demise was a tasty hit in the end!

Topics:  kat van wyk modern mum opinion



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