Like a honeymoon getaway - but for when you divorce
FORGET honeymoon getaways. Apparently divorce retreats are even hipper and hotter than celebrating true love and the start of a blissful marriage.
DivorceHotel is a Dutch company offering weekend divorce packages at six hotels in the Netherlands and the Gideon Putnam Resort & Spa in Saratoga Springs, New York.
Apparently you get your own rooms - so no rebound sex - and you also get counselling about your divorce. You know, in case you need any advice on where to stick the pins in the voodoo doll.
In between therapists, you can enjoy yourself with the usual holiday activities such as scenic rides, fancy meals and use of the spa facilities. There's nothing like a massage to get out those kinks caused by frustration, anger and thoughts of revenge.
According to the company, many couples also choose to have a meal together. We're sure it's kind of nice to reminisce about the good times, but maybe not about the cheating, lying, or irreconcilable differences.
Thankfully they add that they do screen couples to make sure they're civil enough to be on holiday together.
The cost for all of this - up to $10,000. It seems most couples want to break up in style.
If you'd rather not go away with the ex to an exotic location while the ink is drying on your divorce papers, may I suggest a divorce party.
My preference would be not to invite the ex but to invite all your friends who thought he or she was never good enough for you anyway.
Spend your money on plenty of great booze, food and maybe funny videos. What about an amplified band to sing some of the greatest break up songs of all time?
How about Gloria Gaynor's I Will Survive, Kelly Clarkson's Since You've Been Gone, Carly Simon's You're So Vain, Taylor Swift's We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together, or Beyonce's Irreplaceable.
If you're feeling friendly towards your other half, copy him or her in on the photos of your gig on Facebook. Why should they miss all the fun?
Of course some people may prefer to avoid all of this and just sit home, crying over a couple of glasses of wine or scotch while tearing up happy snaps or, these days, digitally deleting them.
And there's nothing wrong with that either, unless you contemplate further action that may lead to an AVO.
Far better to maintain friendly relations, even if a divorce getaway is not quite your thing.
Helen Hawkes is a qualified counsellor and happiness coach. Go to The Feelgood Factor at http://www.thecalmzone.com.au.