Father and son mourn for mum

BEN Matthews isn't quite two yet and is oblivious to the heart-breaking tragedy that has struck his family.

One day he'll find out what a special person his mum Caroline was. His dad Clint just has to work out how to tell him.

Clint Matthews sits at the kitchen table of the East Ipswich home he shared with his wife Caroline and their son Ben.

Photos on either side of the TV in the living room portray their happy life - Caroline and Clint, Sam... and Caroline's beaming smile.

There's a small book on the kitchen table - It's called Words to Help You Be Strong.

Clint's eyes are sorrowful pools of reflected pain.

The Queensland Times met Caroline last August.

Bright, brave, funny, optimistic and beautiful inside and out, the 31-year-old was determined to win the fight for her life.

In 2006, the year she and Clint married, the Ipswich nurse was working at Princess Alexandra Hospital in the MRI section.

She arranged to have an MRI so she could tell patients what it was like. The chance scan revealed a tumour the size of a fist in the centre of her brain, with tentacles like an octopus spreading through the tissue.

Two weeks later she had surgery and three days after that she started six weeks of daily radiation therapy.

She faced it with the good humour only someone born that way can.

"I'm going to stay positive and get rid of this thing," she said with the smile that instantly endeared her to everyone. "It was a miracle to find it so I figure a miracle will take it away."

For three years scans came back clear until the unthinkable happened - the tumour started growing again.

Her doctors wanted to put her on chemotherapy, but six months into her marriage to Clint she had other ideas. Having Ben was a bright spot in an otherwise dark descent into oblivion.

Clint and Caroline met at university in 2003 where they were both studying nursing.

His first and lasting impression was of a lovely, friendly person.

"We did the same prac experience and that's how we got to know each other better, and our relationship started from that point," Clint said.

"We both wanted to pursue nursing, and nursing was always an important part of Caroline's life. She had the qualities of caring and empathy. She had those qualities even before she started working as a nurse."

When she had that fateful MRI, she had just started working in her chose career.

"From that point nothing has ever been the same," Clint said.

"There was no indication it could be possible. I couldn't comprehend she could have a disease that had the potential to be so aggressive when she looked so well and was living a normal life."

The medication caused mood swings at times but her positive nature shone though, even to the extent of laughing at how bad things were.

"I think it helped her a lot to help her get through all those really difficult times. And probably helped me too," Clint said. "She just wanted to get better, so she did that and it helped me to help her as well.

"Even up to the very end she was still so hopeful."

Clint nursed Caroline at home until it became impractical and she was taken to St Andrew's Hospital in Ipswich. By the time Christmas Day was through, the once vibrant Caroline had slipped into an unresponsive state.

"Until then I'm sure she could still hear," Clint said.

"On Christmas Day I was talking to her and she nodded. That was the last time she acknowledged anything.

"She was certainly comfortable. I don't think she experienced significant pain. Everyone at St Andrew's were brilliant really, the way they handled everything."

With all hope lost, Clint made the decision on Boxing Day to stop Caroline's medication. She died three days later, on her 32nd birthday.

"I definitely think her fighting qualities got her through to her birthday," Clint said.

"She was on steroids to reduce the pressure on her brain, but then I came to a point where I realised there was no point so everything was just stopped."

Clint is on a leave of absence from work, looking after Ben and considering whether to stay here or move to the Sunshine Coast.

"This is the most time I've spent with Ben since he was born. I'm trying to build that relationship," he said. "He still recognises Caroline as mum. When we went up to St Andrew's he knew where she was. He definitely sensed something was different. He didn't want to be in there.

"It's good given his age that I don't have to deal with explaining what happened. I've got no idea how I'm going to address it."

Clint now wants to set up a foundation to keep Caroline's memory alive, but also to raise money for brain cancer research.

"Through our experience the treatments aren't effective. They are just giving people extra time without any impact, not treating the cause of these cancers," he said.

"I think it's about time the medical fraternity start looking at alternatives. To a point they put brain tumours in the too-hard basket. Compared to breast cancer, you hardly ever hear of advancements in brain cancer."