Young, slim and virginal, Di is my new mistress

Peter Richardson.
Peter Richardson.

MEET my latest live-in companion. Young, slim and virginal, Di is sitting quietly beside me right now, modestly dressed in dark blue and sporting only one adornment ... no, not a tattoo, just the number 2013 in gold lettering on her jacket.

Di may appear to be submissive, but if she is anything like her predecessor, she will probably prove to be an unforgiving mistress, so how is it that I want her in my life right now?

The answer has to do with that most ancient of clichés: Tempus fugit. The Melbourne Cup has come and gone, the poincianas are about to splash out in their crimson glory, and the shopping centres are readying their decorations and drumming up their canned carols to welcome Santa as  a sorely needed retail saviour.

All this points inexorably to the fact that tired old 2012 has almost breathed its last, and that the time has come for me to enter commitments for next year into my brand new diary.

This is not as simple as it sounds. There is already a mish-mash of dates and reminders scrawled on the back pages of Diary 2012, most of them jotted down hurriedly during phone calls.

Now I must try to (a) decipher my own handwriting; (b) decide which rashly made undertakings still hold  water; and (c) try once more to make neat entries on the right day of the right month.

All of these good intentions have been part of my new yea resolutions for longer than I care to remember, but thanks to a natural slackness in matters clerical, dodgy eyesight and the not-so-gradual loss of what I call my memory cells, I have always failed to deliver. Result, a dog's breakfast of a diary by the end of the year.

Among the entries to be transferred from 2012 to 2013, medical appointments outnumber all the others put together. Mulling this over, I see myself as the human version of an old car, increasingly requiring  expert maintenance and sometimes, replacement of parts, so I remind myself to be grateful to the health professionals who keep my motor ticking over.

All this requires appointments well into the future, not to mention many an hour spent in waiting rooms, which are not so named for nothing.

I read the other day, though, that some would-be patients are now waiting as long as eight years to see a specialist ... and that's just to get on the waiting list for elective procedures. A shortening  of that wait would surely be their most wished-for Christmas present, so why should I complain about a few weeks or months?

Well, Di, I'd better make a start, and turn over a new leaf, as it were. I plan to treat you with respect, to make readable entries and to check them every day. A core promise? In view of my past shortcomings, perhaps that would be unwise, but if I fail, I know you will make me pay.

Topics:  diary opinion peter richardson waiting lists

Culture feast brightens city

COLOUR: This year's Diwali Festival was a hit.

Diwali Festival embraces happiness and joy

LETTER Monty Python circus with squirrels marrying squirrels

Squirrel in Yellowstone National Park during summer.  - User Contributed

God help us with the current crop of egomaniacs in Canberra

Bagging up some Christmas cheer

GOOD CAUSE: Wesley Mission representative Mike Jeffrey and Queenslander Credit Union CEO John Weier prepare for the Red Bag Appeal.

Almost half a million people are living below the poverty line

Local Partners

Leonardo DiCaprio nearly drowned while filming

Actor Leonardo DiCaprio

Oscar winner almost drowned in Galapagos

Miranda Kerr to wed next year

Supermodel Miranda Kerr

Supermodel and Snapchat founder to wed

What's on the small screen this week

Georgia Love pictured in a scene from The Bachelorette finale.

TWO big reality shows wrap up this week while

The Ipswich stamp fair has it all licked

RARE METAL: Dave Roberts with his aluminium Tongan stamps from 1965.

Ipswich stamp fair will feature rare and unusual stamps

Seven decades of keeping Ipswich entertained

This is what the Incinerator Theatre in Queens Park looked like when the Ipswich Little Theatre Society performed its first play.

Times Past with QT columnist Beryl Johnston

Brad Pitt won't file legal response to divorce petition

Brad reportedly refused to send off the paperwork

Hit songwriter's Noosa mansion on market

SPECIAL PLACE: The Cintamani estate is going to tender, marketed by Tom Offermann Real Estate.

Is this Queensland's best property?

Kiwi siblings snap up Dotcom mansion for $32.5m

The new toy company owners of the Coatesville mansion want replace any controversy with positivity and fun. Photo / Barfoot and Thompson

The trio paid $32.5 million for the property in June

New $200 million development will create 580 jobs

Cassie And Josh with baby Alfie and daughter Andee. They have bought at new Lennox Head development Epiq.

Majority of new positions will be given to Northern Rivers locals

Cherrabah's mega resort plans axed

PLANS for a massive development at Cherrabah have been scrapped.

What our mayor thinks of the new draft SEQPlan

The plan to use the innovative technology as part of the new Maroochydore CBD was cemented on site today when Mayor Mark Jamieson and Envac Asia Region president Chun Yong Ha formally signed the contract for the $20 million underground waste collection system.

New plan accommodates Sunshine Coast Council's vision for growth.

Dusit Thani finance crisis 'just a small hiccup'

ON TRACK: Springfield Land Chairman, Maha Sinnathamby, Ipswich Mayor Paul Pisasale, Developer Richard Turner and Springfield Land Deputy Chairman, Bob Sharpless, at the recent resort sod turning ceremony.

Property developer says project remains firmly on track