Sport

Offside resolutions for a new year

YES it's that time of year.

The time when everyone looks at what they want in the year ahead.

So I thought I would sit down and work out a few resolutions (in no particular order) for those involved in the beautiful game.

They might not all come to fruition, in fact probably none will but we can dream a little, it is New Year's Eve after all.

1. The boss of Uefa Michel Platini and Fifa's top man Sepp Blatter will finally realise goalline technology is the way forward for football in 2013. Even these two boofheads will surely see sense.

2. Sir Alex Ferguson will realise he is not the boss of the English Premier League and he can't bully officials into making decisions in favour of Manchester United. Rudolph the Red Nosed Manager will also decide time's up on his career and call it a day.

3. Luis Suarez, Santi Cazorla and Geronimo Neumann will finally admit they dive as much as Matthew Mitcham and apologise for their antics and promise never to do it again.

4. Mario Balotelli will come to his senses (no chance) and see he has no future at Manchester City and move on to another club where he can finally realise his potential on the pitch.

Or failing that he will find peace and join Hari Krishna before mending his troublesome ways.

5. This is probably the toughest resolution of them all to keep as it involves Roman Abramovich not sacking a manager for a whole year.

The Russian will remember he owns Chelsea and is not the coach. He will also see that changing managers more times than clothes does not neccesarily bring success.

6. Arsene Wenger will finally admit he saw a controversial incident and climb off the fence he always sits on when asked about his thoughts on said incident by journalists.

He will also put his money where his mouth is and either give Theo Walcott the contract he desires at Arsenal to give the team a chance of winning a trophy at long last, or he will quit the club.

7. Ange Postecoglou will crack a smile at a press conference and try to find some positives in his team's performances when they win.

He will also celebrate a bit more if Melbourne Victory wins the A-League grand final.

8. Racism will be kicked out of football and we will hear nothing more about arrests of players and fans over alleged incidents throughout the year.

Also there will be no more incidences of crowd trouble, racially motivated or otherwise.

9. No more managers across the world will lose their jobs at the highest level of the beautiful game and we will see the end of the interim or caretaker coach forever.

10. Last and this is the biggest one of all, Swansea City will sign Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo in the January transfer window before going on a winning run to secure at least a Champions League spot.

Somebody wake me up when this happens please.

Topics:  football, offside, soccer




Stay Connected

Update your news preferences and get the latest news delivered to your inbox.

'All I heard when my baby cried was ‘you’re a terrible mum'

APN Hey Mummy Feature for online - stock images of Katie Dykes. Photo Marc Stapelberg / The Northern Star

KATIE'S battle with PND is not unlike many mothers.

'I just thought all mums got no sleep'

MELTOPIA battled PND with all four of her children.

4 survival tips for mummas heading back to work

The few reminders every working mum needs to read.

Health and nutrition with kids - how do you balance it?

HOW important is health and nutrition in your household?

Smack or no smack - where do you stand?

THE debate is reignited - is smacking acceptable?

Technology and kids: Do you ever cut their wi-fi?

Check out our new video series featuring mums having a chat

BLAIR: Neumann dominates early as One Nation impresses

The 2016 federal election polling day. Member for Blair Shayne Neumann and his wife Carolyn cast their vote at City Hope Church, Ripley.

"In some booths One Nation is almost beating the Liberals."

WRIGHT: Buchholz holds half the votes as counting begins

Scott Buchholz casted his vote in Laidley this morning. Photo: Contributed.

POLLING has closed and votes are being counted.

OXLEY: Major parties battle it out

Labor's Milton Dick is leading with 42.71%

Latest deals and offers

How Wright voted

Wright voters. Brian Fletcher - Scott.

How did people vote in the electorate of Wright.

Ipswich hits the polls

Ipswich voters hit the polls for the 2016 federal election.

Junior trio prepare for first cage fight

Real Life MMA fighters Brook Boetje, 9, Hunter Williamson, 10, and Sophie White, 11, prepare for their first ever cage fight.

Real Life MMA fighters Brook Boetje, 9, Hunter Williamson, 10, and Sophie White...

Arts and culture get a boost in council budget

HAPPY CAMPER: Council’s culture boss Cr Charlie Pisasale will be delighted $400,000 has been allocated for a business case investigation for IPAC.

IPAC at the forefront of councillor's agenda

Burnett Heads housing development approved

COUNCIL APPROVED: A Burnett Heads housing development has been approved by Bundaberg Regional Council. Photo Contributed

Councillors approved the development seven votes to four