Lifestyle

'Larceny' charge proves false

HELLO: Meet our new modern mum and her children Andrew and Imogen.
HELLO: Meet our new modern mum and her children Andrew and Imogen. Sawan Hunt

ONE of the most annoying things about my children going from house to house is the amount of stuff that goes missing, but I guess it's something I am just going to have to live with.

Their things belong to them. It wouldn't be fair of me to demand they keep certain possessions at home when they are desperate to bring them to the other place they call "home".

My sister, who is now all grown up, had to deal with this often as a child. She tells me that there was nothing more confusing than when our parents denied her from bringing her belongings from house to house. With this in mind I try my very hardest not to push that upon my children.

But it happens, things get forgotten and sometimes they go missing. This week I found myself accused of such larceny.

. . . I had stolen my children's socks. Yes, lock me up and throw away the key! I had unintentionally pilfered their socks! We have a pink bag that goes from house to house with various clothing, favourite toys and important school notes etc, and this week the kid's socks were not returned! Now I know I have very tiny feet, but there is no way in God's green earth I am ever going to fit into my children's socks. Or perhaps I've kept them on purpose, in a pitiable attempt to create conflict with the "other party"?

As you may have read in the past, I am terrible when it comes to folding my washing and this week the infamous leaning tower of laundry was at its highest. My guess was, the socks were hidden amongst the pile and I simply forgot them.

I tried my hardest to explain that the issue of missing socks is by no means a new phenomenon, in fact it's been going on for years. I am not the one responsible and it doesn't just happen in my household. In homes across the world, two perfectly happy, matching socks go into the wash ... and only one comes out. I personally have half a washing basket full of odd socks, hiding somewhere under my family's mass of clean clothes.

I purchased over a dozen pairs of socks for each for my children at the beginning of the school year and almost all of them have gone astray. I don't know where they go.

Perhaps our washing machines are a type of Bermuda triangle for missing socks and they end up in a parallel universe for all missing household items. A place where one will not only find missing socks, but a bounty of teaspoons, Tupperware lids and pens that have vanished from our homes.

Maybe someone with a foot fetish sneaks into our backyards and snatches them from our washing lines. Taking them back to their home where they are later sewn into a giant sock blanket, to be rolled around upon when there's a full moon.

Could a one-legged monster have taken them? Possibly . . . but then I imagine monsters are quite sizeable, so they too would have trouble fitting into socks that belong to small children.

Some say they are sacrificed to the dryer gods and once they have been devoured, end up expectorated into our lint filters. Others believe that it's purely scientific. Quite simply there is a chemical reaction that occurs with the washing powder, causing the female sock to turn cannibalistic and eat the male.

Of course none of these plausible solutions would have stood up as solid evidence, so I did something I have been putting off for weeks. I was forced to sit down and at long last fold the mountain of laundry. I even put it all away at the end!

I am pleased to report that the missing socks were ultimately reunited and returned to the infamous pink bag. I've also discovered a whole new wardrobe of clothing I thought I would never see again. So perhaps the notion of folding the laundry after I've washed it isn't so bad after all.

I guess if the most outrageous things we manage to misplace with our children going from house to house is a couple of pairs of socks, it can't be all that bad can it?

Topics:  kat van wyk, modern mum, opinion



AUDIO: Ipswich's cheapest homes for under $100k

RENOVATOR'S DREAM: This Dinmore property will go under the hammer in October.

The bottom of the Ipswich real estate market marked with renovator

Iconic Ipswich pub now number one in Queensland

PA Hotel owners Mary-Anne and Clive Johnson are pleased to have been awarded the Queensland Hotels Association 2016 Hotel of the Year.

It's official - Ipswich is home to the best pub in Queensland

Sunny until Sunday

Look for sunny skies Saturday and Sunday.

Expect sunny skies over Ipswich today and tommorow.

Local Partners

Lady Gaga confirms Super Bowl show

Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga to perform in coveted spot

Girls actors give emotional tributes to hit show

Actor Allison Williams

Actors farewell smash hit HBO show Girls after six seasons

Janet Jackson's pregnancy is 'best thing'

Janet Jackson

Janet Jackson can't wait to become a mum

Jay Z signs two-year movie and TV deal

Rapper Jay Z

Rapper Jay Z has signed a television and movie deal

Nowhere to Hyde: Matt Nable is Australia's man in demand

Matt Nable stars as Detective Gary Hyde in the TV series Hyde & Seek.

NABLE returns to the small screen amidst busy film work.

Things to do around Ipswich this weekend

The Ipswich Orchid Society Garden Spectacular is this weekend.

Things to do around Ipswich

Beach-side real estate starts at $85k on Fraser Coast

HERVEY BAY REAL ESTATE: You can buy this townhouse in Scarness for under $300k.

Live your beach-living dream locally.

$40million hotel, shops development project for Mackay

Mt Pleasant hotel and retirement accommodation, proposed at 194-202 Malcomson St.

$40m development to take Mackay to 'the next level'

Housing report points to a lift in local market

AFFORDABLE HOMES: First home buyers have the opportunity to purchase modern new homes in the Ipswich region for under $400,000.

Region shaping up as the "final frontier” for affordable housing

Five ways to slash household bills and save the environment

THINK GREEN: Considering the environment when building or buying your next home can save you big dollars. The Village Building Company, who is responsible for Woodlinks Village at Collingwood Park, builds homes with this front of mind.

THERE is nothing as sweet as slashing dollars from your bills.

Investors out-bid first-home buyers in booming market

Housing generic.

Ipswich's housing market is putting more cash into sellers’ pockets