Opinion

Another royal performance

WELL, a royal baby is being baked!

Poor Kate. There is nothing cute about acute morning sickness.

But never mind that, what about all the pressure to produce a right royal heir.

I do love the fact the laws have changed so even if it is a girl this baby will be the future King or Queen one day.

But every time Kate has even brushed her stomach while in public the media has gone into a foetal frenzy assuming a bub is on the way.

Perhaps at the time the poor love was just craving some ice cream. And then of course when Kate cut her hair and unveiled a fringe the baby speculation was sparked afresh.

I mean, what more telling sign of a baby on the way than a fringe after all? Forget larger boobs or a rounded stomach. A fringe will do it every time!

What a crazy 'big bang' theory!

And Kate was spotted drinking water in public recently on a swelteringly hot day! Really!

Anyhoos, as a royal lover, I am most excited over the news. I hope it is a baby girl. I mean no son wants to be referred to as 'Little Willy' do they?

And if it is a girl we can all read trash magazines filled with pictures of Kate and Mini Kate wearing matching outfits from Zara and Top Shop. Can you have tiny tiaras made?

I do not think you can dress a royal baby in a Bonds onesy, can you? It would be quite the difficult decision just what to buy this royal baby.

It would be most hard to compete with the Queen's gift as I bet she has a spare royal sash and a tiara or two still lying around her walk-in wardrobe.

And that old dog Prince Charles shocked me with his witty statement about the impending bundle of joy.

The future King (insert groan here) commented, "One can confirm that the royal baby is growing faster than the economy."

Pretty funny, Charlie! Good one!

So what about names for our little one? Mary seems to be a front runner as do Elizabeth and Charles.

I guess they are not allowed to go new age and call their bubba Apple or Sparrow or Pax. You can bet it will not be Fergie.

Anyway book in high tea with your girlfriends for when the baby very properly bursts into the world. It is going to be one royal extravaganza in our household.

And I cannot wait for the head wetting. Why? Because Harry will be in charge of it and it is guaranteed to be hilariously wicked. Stay posted.

You can read more about Sami's antics at samichic.com or listen to Todd and Sami on Hot 91.1

Topics:  kate middleton, prince william, royal family, sami muirhead




Don't call us killers: RSPCA CEO

RSPCA CEO Mark Townend.

Criticism of the service and its rates of euthanasia

Girlfriend tells court of horrific stabbing murder

IN COURT: The scene of a fatal stabbing on Cobalt St Carole Park in April last year. Photo: Rob Williams / The Queensland Times

Woman recounts night of horrific stabbing in Pye murder

Here's how $10,000 gets you 23 cars and a boat

A decent crowd turned out for the Ipswich City Council public auction of abandoned vehicles.

Two bidders clean up as old bombs set for export market

Latest deals and offers

Johnny Depp 'deeply respects' Amber Heard

Celebrity

Amber Heard gives away $7 million settlement to charity

The true cost of 60 Minutes debacle revealed

It's a bill that would make even a silk tied barrister blush

Kirk Douglas is defiant, fierce and still standing

VETERAN ACTOR: Kirk Douglas has had a long and varied career.

Kirk Douglas has out-lived almost all his contemporaries

The Hard Word reviews Kyzer Soze

Kyzer Soze are playing Brisbane tomorrow at the Crowbar in Fortitude Valley. Photo Contributed

Kyzer Soze summon the evil for this mighty slab of death metal

It's getting very Rude over at the Racehorse

FUNNY: Rodney Rude will be at the Racehorse Hotel.

Australia's top funny man is back

Britney Spears 'almost drowned' in Hawaii

Britney Spears has revealed she 'almost drowned' while on holiday

ISLAND FOR SALE: Cheap Fraser Coast island drops price again

Suna Island in the Great Sandy Strait will be auctioned by Ray White Hervey Bay on Saturday morning.

This is the cheapest island you will find for sale in Australia

How a family home can fit on a 250sq m block

This is what you can build on 250m2.

Here's the floor plan of a home built on 250sq m

$100m plan for Curtis Island 'world class' luxury resort

$100 million resort: Top views at Turtle Street at Curtis Island.

"At the moment we think it meets all the town planning approvals.”

Coast building approvals at seven-year high: report

The the 2015/16 Development Indicators Annual Highlights Report documents local development activity that took place during the last financial year.

New report shows increasing development on the Sunshine Coast

Top honours for Mackay and Whitsunday builders

The Kerrisdale Gardens property from Paynter Dixon Queensland which won them Project of the Year.

Mackay and Whitsunday builders awarded top honours last night.

Investors eye Gladstone's $4m island with resort approval

UP FOR SALE: Turtle Island is on the market.

CHINESE and Sydney investors flag interest in Gladstone island.