Movies

Ashton Kutcher's body tries its best to divert attention from the rotten script, but it's no use: the stench of Killers is too strong.

This action-comedy arrives in cinemas just two weeks after Knight and Day, a film which told a similar story in a far superior way. Killers has no ambition for humour, sparkle or originality — it's happy to simply borrow from movies like Mr and Mrs Smith without any effort.

Kutcher stars as Spencer, a James Bond-style assassin who longs for the simple life. He gets his chance when he meets Jen (Katherine Heigl) in the French Riviera, and before long they're married and settling into a seemingly perfect neighbourhood. Jen is unaware of her husband's secret double life — but the truth comes out when someone puts a bounty on Spencer's head and tries to kill the couple.

Kutcher is in fine form — charismatic, good looking — but director Robert Luketic adds nothing to the production that's worth your money. The action scenes are forgettable, the direction is uninspired and the plot holes are so big you could drive an army tank through them.

The jokes are beyond lame — a cameo by singing superstar Usher as a store clerk brings a "Huh?!" more than a "Haha!" — and you feel sorry for Tom Selleck and Catherine O'Hara as Jen's parents, who are so much better than the film around them.

In fact, O'Hara is the only one with a good solution to the whole mess — every scene she's in, she's pouring a drink. You'll want to do the same.